My depression is acting up again. :P Since about midnight tonight, actually. I kinda want to know why depression always seems to be on the bottom of the list of health problems that need fixing. I mean, right now the constant migraine is more urgent, yeah, but you'd think it would have been at the top of the list before. Okay, so for a while a couple of years ago I had this major stomach problem that landed me in the hospital once, but there was a whole year or so in between the time we got that solved and the time my migraine became constant. After I was taken off one of my first sets of meds, the ones that were partially designed to help with my depression, I never got put back on any sort of meds to help with it. The only treatment I can remember trying since then was when I was going to a therapist. That lasted a month or two, until I said it was doing more harm than good. Which it was. The best thing that came out of that was a poem I wrote, which I never typed up and have since lost. The guy was nice enough, and I'm sure he was a fine therapist, he just couldn't help me. Although I kind of wonder how I managed to perfectly confidently tell one of my doctors that my goal in life was to marry a nice girl, adopt two kids, and become a teacher, yet I couldn't tell my therapist that I was gay.
I'm actually a lot more bi than I thought I was. Like a 4 or so, provided I'm remembering correctly how that scale works. I'm also a lot more comfortable with my sexuality than I was, mostly because I now fail completely at understanding what people's problem with it is. Actually, I failed at it before, too. Don't know why I had trouble coming out...I mean, I have an idea, and I get why other people would, I just...don't. I don't understand why people have a problem with it. Of course, I also don't have a problem with polygamy between consenting adults, and it didn't register that Gus was black until someone online actually pointed it out. They were all upset because they though that some people didn't ship Gus and Shawn because Gus is black. I was all, "Gus is black? Huh. That...has nothing to do with why I don't ship him and Shawn. I don't ship him and Shawn because their relationship strikes me as more of a brotherly one. I do however ship Gus and Juliet, which is a sadly neglected ship. Kind of like Mickey and Jake. And Luke and Clyde. And almost certainly Jeb and Raw, though that last one is really quite understandable.
Blimey, I got a bit off topic there, didn't I? Especially since I originally made this post with the intention of postin a poem...
My mind is nonsequitorial. Of course, seeing the words 'hobo' and 'bagpipe player' in the same sentence struck me as really funny. Especially after Rod Sterling referred to the characters in that episode as 'a collection of question marks' or something like that.
A cookie to whoever gets that joke.