Saturday, January 3, 2009

The Ridiculously Long Tin Man Post

Okay, so having now watched Tin Man for about the billionth time, I have a list of things I still don't get.

  1. Okay, so at the end of episode one, Cain gets shot, falls out a really high window, falls through the ice, and is pretty clearly on his way to the bottom of the sea. At the beginning of episode one, Glitch looks out the hole in the castle and sees a large hole in the ice down below, the same hole Cain fell through. Then he goes downstairs to where Cain fell, and there is no hole. There is Cain, looking amazingly not-dead and not-at-the-bottom-of-the-ocean. I mean, I know they have continuity problems, but there's like one scene between these! That's a little extreme.
  2. What exactly is the witch's plan? I mean, she wants permanent darkness, but why? What's in it for her? Does she draw her power from darkness, or what?
  3. The horse. The little toy horse Cain has. Okay, so Cain takes it out from the box of stuff that was apparently left underneath the cabin, and it's supposed to be something that was Jeb's when he was little, right? And then when they meet the resistance fighters at the crack in the OZ, the guy has a horse just like it. He says Jeb made it. So did Jeb make the first horse when he was little and then just go on making horses in the exact same style with no variation at all?
  4. How much of Glitch's brain got taken out? Was it all of it or just half of it?
  5. What is with the Queen's plan? Seriously, it's more convoluted and unlikely than Dumbledore's plan.
  6. So DG's parents were going to explain at some point all about the OZ and how DG had to go back there, right? But when the travel storm comes they're like "This wasn't the way it was planned!" Seriously guys, you have seven days until the eclipse, how long were you planning on waiting?
  7. Tutor was locked up for fifteen annuals. Now, let's assume that annuals are years. I'm pretty sure that this means Az locked him up shortly after she killed DG. How did that work? She was like eleven. This gives me a weird image of an eleven year old kid waving a gun at Tutor and telling him to get in the cell. Or possibly an actual hole, because even if she was able to lock him up, I have no idea where she'd get a cell.
  8. How come Tutor is the only one who knows what Ahamo looks like? Shouldn't most people at least have some vague idea?
  9. Okay, Queen Who Has Convoluted Plans And No Name, you couldn't stop an eleven year old? Seriously? That's just sad. And what is your name? Because Queen Who Has Convoluted Plans And No Name is way too long to be used in anything that isn't crack fic, and Lavender Eyes is not a particularly Ozian name.
  10. So, do the tattoos call the mobats, or do they live in her boobs or what? There's no reason Scifi should have made this clear, I'm just curious.
  11. Ambrose, sweetie, you're supposed to be smart. Why are you trying to slow down the suns? You know that's a bad idea, right? Seriously, I think Scifi made a disaster movie or something about it.
  12. Um...what happened with the Grey Gale? I mean, she had this flashback thing, but it was obviously sort of real because she got the emerald, but it was pretty clearly not actual time travel, so is it a combination of a ghost who can hold things and a hallucination/illusion?
  13. DG, I know she just used a forcefield or telekinesis or something to push you back, and I know your now collapsing in a fit of coughing, but the fate of the world is at stake! Couldn't you try more than once to grab it? Seriously, your lack of determination to stop the world from ending annoys me. Although you are right, green really isn't her color.
This is why we need a series, guys. So they can explain at least some of this stuff. Or we could have a series in which they explain none of this stuff, but there are many more endearing plot holes. I'm not sure why the plot holes in some shows endear me to them, while the plot holes in others annoy me. Anyway, Atlantis is almost over, I think Scifi should make a Tin Man series next. Though I kind of wonder about actually finding out the Queen's name, because having a nameless queen has become sort of...part of the thing. All the speculation on what her name is can be really entertaining. Of course, I bet they could do a series without giving away her name. Just have people call her "my queen" all the time.

On a side note, I really like the Realm of the Unwanted. It's shiny, in the Firefly sense of the word, not the normal, look-the-metal-is-shiny sense of the word. Although the lights shine, so I suppose it could be said to be shiny. I like Central City, too, it's really pretty. And the Doctor would totally hang out in the Realm of the Unwanted, cause that's how he rolls, man. I mean, he was so very happy to be in the slums in Gridlock. Although, if he went to the Realm of the Unwanted, he'd probably get mad about the boxing and try to get them to stop. Also, Dorothy having silver shoes makes me gleeful.

I want Glitch's coat. It is made of even more awesome than the tenth Doctor's coat. And the sixth Doctor's, which I want just so I can wear it to the mall along with my angels have the phonebox t-shirt and completely out of season holiday accessories. Like reindeer antlers in April or something. Also, Glitch's curls. They bob! This makes me happy. Ambrose's curls do not bob. They just sit there, looking really bad. Seriously, Glitch, even if they manage to put your brain back in, please don't change your hair. I like it. Ambrose had awful hair. Speaking of Ambrose, if they ever do make a series, they could do some really interesting psychological examination of the characters, particularly Glitch and Az.

As much as I love Raw, Glitch, Cain, and the Mystic Man, my favorite character has got to be Az. I mean, she's so childlike and scared and sad and I just want to hug her. And she's so strong, too, I mean she was possessed by that witch for fifteen years and yet she still manages to have enough control over her actions to take DG's hand. I also have a theory that Az was using what little control she had over the witch to keep her from killing her mother and father. And Kathleen Robertson and Alexia Fast both do a fantastic job. So do Alan Cumming, Neil McDonough, and Raoul Trujillo. Almost everyone does, actually.

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